Earlier tonight on Sex Court:

I was not sleeping with my ex-wife.
I was just jerking off to a videotape of her.

Wife: It was still her, you were still jerking off to a picture of her.

Husband: Yeah, baby, but, I was thinking about you the whole time.

Wife: I was right there in the kitchen!!!
How do you think I caught you?

Husband: My psychic thoughts of you drew you to me.

Wife: Well it must have been your psychic thoughts,
cuz your mouth was saying [audio beeped out]

Court System: Part One
BY KARRIE SEMIPERT

Court System: Part Two
BY KARRIE SEMIPERT

The Great American Pastime
BY CHRISTOPHER CURRY

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