SWEET JESUS PIE
song lyrics ©1932

by ROSCOE T. BULWARK and
CLETUS JEHOSPHAT JONES

In the midst of the grinding poverty of the depression these two writers died of obesity while lunching together in 1934, Bulwark first, and Jones after finishing the recently-deceased Bulwark's Beef Wellington.

Way up there in heaven
There's a little luncheonette
Where you will get your just desserts
For all your toil and sweat
And even though the ice cream
Is the best you ever et
You gotta save some room for Jesus pie

[chorus]
For it's pie, Jesus pie, Jesus pie
I wanna eat that pie when i die
That Jesus pie up in the sky
Is the pie that I should try
Sweet Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus pie

[verse]
In the devil's cafeteria there is an evil smell
The muffins come from satan's pants
And the coffee's bad as well
But I'll march right up to Lucifer
And I'll have a tale to tell
I'll hit him in the face with a Jesus pie

[bridge]
What was he thinkin'
God must've been drinkin'
O wh'd he make a pie that wouldn't die?
You don't have to boil it
Resurrect it from the toilet
Just leave it on the windowsill to dry

[verse]
Now that tidy bowl captain cursed his luck while i was crapping
Shook his fist at that Asshole in the sky
It wern't no Exxon tanker that caused him all the rancor
Just two pots of Sanka and that holy Jesus pie

For it's pie, Jesus pie, Jesus pie
I wanna eat that pie when I die
That Jesus pie up in the sky
Is the pie that I should try
Sweet Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus pie

Sweet Mary, Holy Mary was the mother of that guy
But she never made a cake as sweet as that good ol' Jesus pie
The muslims eat falafel the
Jews eat seeded rye
The service is god-awful but I love my Jesus pie

You won't be forsaken
When by death you're overtaken just say no to the snake
And keep forsakin' the shakin' bacon
For a Mother Mary milkshake and some
[clap] sweet Jesus pie

Every virgin is a mother every angel is a fly
When they're swarming on another piece of
Warm sweet Jesus pie